The Absurd Times Will the Real Charlie Hebdo Stand up?



Illustration: double standards

It’s pretty clear that there are no qualifications needed to be a “Terrorism Expert”. It does help, however, if you are able to spout fear inducing mantras. We are hereby declaring ourselves to be “Terrorism Experts” and are available for a high price on any mainstream medium.

Of course, be careful as there is not a great market for experts on “JudeoExtremism,” or “RadicalJudaism” these days. Bibi may come knocking on your door.

A ChristoTerrorist was arrested in Cincinnati. He said he was Jesus and was going to Poison John Boehner (Speaker of the House) for being the devil and bringing Ebola into the country. Hold on. This just in: he is actually a home-grown (love that term?) terrorist inspired by ISIS. We find this out because the FBI says so. How do they know? 1) his tweets and 2) he bought a bunch…

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